


By Any Other Name

by elstarwarslover



Series: The Other Other Epilogues [4]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: And brings them everywhere, Domestic Fluff, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Idk that's her problem not mine, Is Kanaya catching feelings at the end?, Multi, Picnics, Post-Canon, Surrogacy, The Homestuck Epilogues, What can I say Jade loves picnics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-15
Updated: 2019-12-15
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:00:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21808576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elstarwarslover/pseuds/elstarwarslover
Summary: Jade and Davepeta are looking to have kids but can't because of, well lots of reasons.  Jade asked Rose to be a surrogate.  Now Rose and Kanaya are discussing their options before they call over Jade to let her know what they decide.
Relationships: Davepetasprite/Jade Harley, Jade Harley/Kanaya Maryam, Jade Harley/Rose Lalonde, Jade Harley/Rose Lalonde/Kanaya Maryam, Rose Lalonde/Kanaya Maryam
Series: The Other Other Epilogues [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1594504
Comments: 2
Kudos: 10





	By Any Other Name

Rose: So, what do you think?  
Kanaya: About Jades Proposal  
Rose: The very same.

Kanaya brings over two cups of tea from where she was brewing them in the kitchen.

Kanaya: I Am Confused  
Kanaya: In My Culture This Kind Of Open Solicitation Might Be Seen As A Threat  
Kanaya: And In The Worst Case Scenario Would Lead To Vacillations Of The Flushed And Caliginous Quadrants  
Kanaya: To My Understanding Your Culture Has A Similar Concept  
Kanaya: Cheating I Believe Its Called

Rose swallows but leaves the teacup sitting on its saucer. This certainly wasn’t an unforeseen outcome—very little is anymore—but it’s one that she had hoped would not come to pass. Marriage, after all, was her idea; trolls have no equivalent concept. One of the things they had talked about extensively beforehand was what exactly that meant in terms of exclusivity, and Rose had hoped it would be clear that she wasn’t trying to violate that bond.

Rose: That is a fair point.  
Kanaya: And  
Rose: And?  
Kanaya: You Know Me Very Well By This Point  
Rose: I should hope so.  
Kanaya: I Would Like To Know Why You Brought It Up To Me  
Kanaya: You Certainly Have Given It Quite A Bit Of Thought  
Kanaya: Have You Not  
Rose: I will admit, I have entertained the idea since Jade brought it up to me.  
Rose: She is, after all, my very good friend.  
Rose: And I would hate to turn her down without properly considering it.  


The tea has two more minutes before it will be at the proper temperature, but Rose picks up her cup anyway. It leaves out the question of what to do with her hands.

Rose: Besides, it could be done artificially.  
Rose: Although I understand that Jade would prefer the natural option.  
Kanaya: The Natural Option Being Sex  
Rose: Yes.  
Rose: The artificial option being in vitro fertilisation.  
Kanaya: Youll Have To Forgive My Lack Of Knowledge In This Area  
Rose: A doctor would take an egg from me and sperm from Jade, mix them together on a petri dish, then implant the resulting embryo in me a few days later.  
Rose: All very tidy.  
Kanaya: I See  
Kanaya: Of Course You Would Have To Endure Human Pregnancy

Rose relaxes again, her wife’s quip enough to console her growing anxiety about this conversation.

Rose: It is a tragic price, but one that I may yet pay for a dear friend.  
Kanaya: The Poets Will Write Epics Of Your Sacrifice  
Rose: Of that, there is no doubt.  
Kanaya: Okay  
Rose: Okay?  
Kanaya: If You Go With The Artificial Option Of Course  
Kanaya: Id Still Rather Prefer To Have You To Myself In The Bedroom  
Rose: Okay then.  
Rose: Let’s call her up.  
Rose: She’ll be ecstatic to hear the news.  
Kanaya: I Do Have One Question First  
Rose: Of course.  
Kanaya: Do You Have Flushed Feelings For Her

Rose reaches out and grabs Kanaya’s hand where it rests on the table. She pauses a second to take a sip of her tea, which Kanaya has steeped to perfection as always.

Rose: Not particularly.  
Rose: She’s my good friend and is certainly very attractive, but I’ve never really had those kinds of feelings for her.  
Kanaya: Okay Then

Kanaya stands up and takes her first drink of tea, less a sip than a chug. She stretches her arms above her head to hide the fact that her hands are shaking but recovers with a quick flourish and a little bow. Rose leans forward and kisses the corner of her eye, right where a tear is threatening to form. Kanaya responds by bringing her hands up to Rose’s face and pulling her into a proper kiss. The two of them stay there, kissing each other, for what feels like eternity and what feels like a second. When they break, Kanaya instinctively goes to fix her lipstick, and Rose responds by licking her own lips as seductively as she can manage. Kanaya stops a moment to blush jade green, then turns away to finish reapplying. Rose stands up and hugs Kanaya around the waist.

Rose: I love you, Kanaya.  
Kanaya: I Love You Too Rose  
Kanaya: Now I Believe We Have A Guest To Invite Over  
Rose: But of course.

Kanaya picks up her phone and dials Jade’s number while Rose sees to the rest of her tea.

Kanaya: Jade  
Jade: hi kanaya!!! :)  
Jade: whats up?  
Kanaya: Hello  
Kanaya: My Wife And I Would Like To Speak With You  
Kanaya: About Your Proposal  
Jade: :0  
Jade: okay!!!  
Jade: when are you thinking?  
Kanaya: How Quickly Can You Get Here

Kanaya jumps at the knock on the door. Rose shrugs at her as if to say, “she does have all of the powers of a fully fledged Witch of Space,” and Kanaya glares back as if to say, “That Does Not Excuse Her Not Answering My Question.” Kanaya ends the call as a formality and looks back at Rose.

Rose: Are you ready?  
Kanaya: No  
Kanaya: But I Made My Decision  
Kanaya: Ill Just Be Happiest When This Whole Ordeal Is Dealt With  
Rose: In nine months, you mean? Or today?  
Kanaya: I Havent Decided Yet

Kanaya walks to the door and opens it to Jade, wearing a sundress and a gardener’s hat as wide as her shoulders. She’s holding a picnic basket that looks like it should be overflowing, had it not suddenly found its inside three times larger than its outside. Rose stands up to greet her guest and notices her tail wagging without bothering her dress. She makes a note to ask if she tailored it herself once the more serious topics of discussion were dealt with.

Kanaya: Please Come In  
Rose: Hello Jade.  
Jade: hey guys!!  
Jade: i hope you dont mind that i threw us together some sandwiches  
Jade: and some desserts jane gave me  
Jade: shes really been back on a baking kick recently huh

Rose gets a glimpse of another timeline, far removed from this one, where she and Jane would become enemies due to Jane’s gradual losing touch with reality. She decides to ignore it.

Kanaya: I Think Thats Lovely

Rose looks to Kanaya and sees that the smile on her face is genuine, much to her own surprise. Well, okay it’s not that surprising. Jade’s sincere energy is nothing short of infectious, even when at the worst of times. Why should it be any different now?

Rose: Why don’t you go ahead and start getting stuff put out then?  
Rose: I’ll grab us some napkins.

She kisses Kanaya on her way to the kitchen, then picks out a set of Parisian-print napkins that Dave had gotten them as an ironic wedding gift. Of course, she would never dare admit that there was anything even the slightest bit ironic about them, despite the fact that Paris does not in fact exist anymore and has been replaced with a discount version of itself, morphed well beyond recognition. Nor would she ever tell him that she had any feeling other than utter joy upon receiving them. No, that would play right into the weird ironic schtick he’s got going on. So instead she happily uses them whenever she’s got guests so that everyone she’s ever met knows just how important and special they are to her. That’ll show him.

Kanaya: Of Course Hes Missing A Few Teeth Now  
Jade: :0  
Kanaya: Presumably  
Kanaya: Im Honestly Not Quite Sure What His Status Is  
Kanaya: What With The Whole Dead And Alive Thing He Always Has Going On  
Jade: :0  
Rose: I take it you two are getting along well?  
Jade: yeah!  
Jade: kanaya was just telling me about what happened to sollux  
Kanaya: When Last I Saw Him That Is  
Rose: He was quite the downer, if my one interaction with him was any indication.  
Kanaya: That Pretty Well Describes Him

Rose puts down her napkins onto the table, where Jade has put out quite the impressive spread. In front of Kanaya is a roast hoofbeast sandwich with grub sauce, Rose’s place is set with a BLT, set on toast and cut into a heart, and Jade is sitting in front of a stack of roast beef so tall that the bread on top and bottom are only a formality. The care Jade clearly took in suiting each of their sandwiches to them makes Rose blush just a bit more than she’d like to admit.

Rose: So.  
Rose: Are we ready to talk about this?

Jade takes a bite of her sandwich, which only fits because she shrinks it as she picks it up, then nods her head vigorously.

Rose: I think we have decided on the best course of action.  
Jade: which is?  
Rose: I will be a surrogate for you and Davepeta.  
Rose: I’m happy that you’ve reached a point in your relationship that you are ready to have kids.  
Rose: And I’m certainly more than happy to help.  
Rose: But.

Jade’s tail, which had been wagging at near the speed of sound, slows down almost imperceptibly. To anyone who isn’t a Seer, that is. But she keeps her face from showing it, which makes the next part just a little bit easier.

Rose: We’ll be–  
Kanaya: I Want In

Rose chokes mid-sentence and shoots Kanaya a look that hopefully communicates the sheer unlikeliness of this particular scenario. Of course, since they left the Medium, there’s no such thing as a Doomed Timeline anymore, no need to worry about whether or not they would all die as a result of that outburst. Still, it takes Rose by surprise that this particular timeline is the one she is currently inhabiting.

Kanaya: Im Sorry If Thats Presumptuous Of Me  
Kanaya: But If Youre Going To Be Having Sex  
Kanaya: Id Like To Be There  
Kanaya: Is That All Right

Rose nods her assent to Kanaya then looks over to Jade to see her reaction.

Jade: well of course!!  
Jade: whatever makes you both comfortable :)  
Jade: after all id hate for this to be stressful for you

Jade takes another huge bite out of her sandwich, and her tail is back to wagging faster than is humanly or doggily possible. Rose takes the moment to shoot Kanaya a questioning look. Kanaya responds with a gesture that resembles the feeling of, “Could You Bear To Disappoint Her?” Rose shrugs back something to the effect of, “that was exactly what I was planning on doing, yes.” Their conversation is cut short when Jade finishes her bite and starts talking again.

Jade: of course well all have to get tested for stis first  
Jade: there arent many that pass between trolls and humans  
Jade: but believe me the ones that do are nasty  
Jade: and even if you two have only been going at each other its still safer to know for sure  
Jade: then maybe we should track your period for a couple of months to figure out when the best time would be?  
Rose: No need.  
Rose: If we do it next Tuesday, the chance that I’ll get pregnant from the encounter is maximized.  
Jade: oh wow okay!!  
Jade: you really know that off the top of your head?  
Jade: wait never mind thats a seer thing isnt it :p  
Jade: anyway thats not really a lot of time for the lab to get around  
Jade: not for the longer tests  
Jade: but im sure they can make a rush order for us :)

Rose takes a bite of her sandwich and looks over to see that Kanaya’s is already gone. She seems to be somewhere between deep regret and sincere fondness for Jade, but that’s a conversation for when they’re alone. Jade takes her last bite too, leaving Rose the only one with a half-finished sandwich on the table. She smiles at Kanaya and takes another bite.

Jade: okay so i brought a cake for each of us  
Jade: i know it sounds like a lot but theyre pretty small so we should be able to get through them  
Jade: and if not you two can just keep them  
Jade: i know you dont talk to jane quite as much so you dont get the full benefit of all the weird experiments shes been doing

Jade pulls out three full-size triple-tiered cakes that are definitely not “pretty small.”

Jade: i dont know what you like so i brought one strawberry one chocolate and one vanilla  
Jade: anyway have at it!!  
Jade: theyre actually pretty good  
Kanaya: I Thought That Dogs Could Not Have Chocolate  
Jade: yeah i dont think she realizes just how much of me is dog yet :(  
Jade: shell figure it out im sure!  
Jade: but for now i just test everything she gives me before eating any of it

Kanaya stands up to start clearing plates, and the table goes silent for a minute. Jade keeps looking between them expectantly, as if there’s still a question on her mind that she’s too afraid to ask. But to Rose, the moment is nice. There’s a calm, a hominess to it that she’s learned to enjoy since moving in with Kanaya. In this moment, there is not a doubt in her mind; Kanaya is her first and only true love, but it’s nice that Jade can be here too. She looks up to see Kanaya bringing back dessert plates and remembers the question she wanted to ask from the very beginning.

Rose: So, Jade.  
Jade: mhm?  
Rose: Did you sew that dress yourself?  
Rose: I can’t imagine that there are a lot of places you can buy clothes made to your specifications, even here.  
Kanaya: Actually Honey I Made It For Her  
Rose: Oh!  
Rose: I’m surprised I didn’t notice.  
Kanaya: It Was More Of A Side Project  
Kanaya: Jade Asked Me Awhile Back For Some Clothes That Would Fit With Her Tail  
Kanaya: Of Course We Were Busy With The Mother Grub Then  
Kanaya: So I Only Worked On It A Little At A Time  
Kanaya: But Im Glad It Fits So Well  
Jade: it does!! :)

As if to prove her point, Jade floats to an open spot in the room and gives a little spin. The skirt floats up almost unimpeded, and Jade stops with a smile.

Jade: see?  
Jade: i couldnt ever do that with one of the local dresses  
Jade: only like  
Jade: my dogtier outfit  
Jade: but that gets so boring after awhile  
Rose: Quite so.

Rose remembers her own godtier outfit, which she hasn’t put on in years. One of the weirder powers of godhood is that she can summon the outfit to herself whenever she wants. The side effect is that whatever outfit she was wearing gets destroyed in the process. Or worse, that everyone knows she was too lazy to put on “real” clothes today.

Jade: are you working on the other one yet?  
Kanaya: I Have The Bodice Done Yes  
Kanaya: Come Look If You Want

She and Jade go over to the sewing room down the hall. Hanging from the mannequin is a brown dress with a white bone sewn horizontally around the midruff. Midriff. Pinned to it is a matching skirt with little bones in a repeating pattern all the way around. It’s a bit on the nose, if Rose is being honest.

Jade: i love it!!!!!

Jade pulls Kanaya into a hug, which Kanaya quickly reciprocates.

Jade: when do you think itll be done?  
Kanaya: Well Drone Season Isnt For Another Couple Of Months  
Kanaya: And Swifer Has Gotten Quite Adept At Caring For The Mother Grub  
Kanaya: I Can Probably Get It Done Before Then  
Jade: thats perfect!  
Jade: thank you so much kanaya  
Kanaya: You Are Quite Welcome  
Rose: I have a suggestion.  
Jade: shoot!  
Rose: Since we all need to get tested anyway, why don’t we go down to the clinic together?  
Rose: I’ll just put the cakes away first, assuming we’re done with them.  
Kanaya: I Think That Sounds Like A Lovely Idea

Rose meanders back to the kitchen and pulls out some proper cake stands. It takes some work to get each one onto its stand without them falling apart, but she manages to do it slice by slice until they’re all neatly on display. The tupperwares that Jade brought go into the dishwasher, and Rose sets it to run while they’re out. When she gets back Jade and Kanaya are discussing fabrics, proportions, and what will likely be Kanaya’s next project after this one is done.

Rose: Are we quite ready?  
Kanaya: I Think So.  
Jade: well what are we waiting for then  
Jade: lets go! 

**Author's Note:**

> This started as an excuse to write smut but by the time I got to the end, the tone was so thoroughly not smutty anymore that it felt bad trying to tack it on. I'll probably actually go write that smut as a sequel, so keep an eye out for it if it's the kind of thing that interests you.


End file.
